‘Teen Crush Tuesday’ (yeah, that’s a thing now) and how Night of the Living Dead changed my entire outlook on beauty. 


This is about when I was a teenager, not some crush I have on a teenager so just get that perversion out of your head now ya filthy animals! My Queenie is all I need and everything else is mush (sorry Scar Jo and Megan Fox, we can still be friends though). As I was saying, when I was a young lad I had an ‘early in life obsession’ with horror movies (imagine that). I saw all the old 80’s slasher flicks, with the gratuitous nudity that went with them. It’s funny looking back at all I was allowed to watch as a kid, but hey, the 80’s were different times man.

Whilst I certainly had infatuations with all of Jason’s voluptuous and scantily clad victims, shared Freddy’s obsession with teenage girls, and don’t even get me started on Sleepaway Camp, it wasn’t until I laid eyes on an adolescent Kyra Schon as Karen Cooper on the cover of Night of the Living Dead that I think I developed my first real boyhood crush. I know she was only 11 or 12 in that infamous picture, but I WAS TOO!!! Suddenly all the other horror queens fell abruptly aside as I obsessed over the one who looked like she could show me a whole new world of pain (yeah, I have a slight Hellraiser obsession too). Where the other girls in the movies were helpless victims (even the super tough badass ones eventually fell), Karen Cooper was the predator. I was ready to sit back, let her sink her zombie teeth into me, and comb the countryside, hand in hand, brainlessly looking for victims.


She is one of the only portraits I almost got tattooed on me. She is the only one I still would. Yes, 25 years after I first recall ever laying eyes on her she still holds that special place as my first crush. I’m glad to know that Kyra Schon is still around and hope to one day get to meet her and tell her how much her image has pleased and plagued me over the years. My Queenie is number one in my life now, but from age 10-15, Kyra was the zombie girl who held my heart. (TM)